Blogging

Every once in a while the blog community amazes me, first the idea of push button publishing, so one doesn't really have to wait to let the world know what he/she thinks about the world and the people inhabiting the same, and their idiosyncrasies. The idea itself is a huge leap towards being argumentative in a constructive sense (please forgive me for using the term argumentative here, but cannot help it ever since I started reading what Amartya Sen has to say about Indians), so now we have people voicing what they feel and opinions flow in thick and thin.
But every once in a while I come across something that makes my day, most of the times it is humor. I firmly believe that humor is one of the most mature of human emotions, for it allows one to laugh off what otherwise is mundane and heavy stuff.
This evening I came across one post that made me laugh. And what it had to say was actually true.

Tum pukar lo

Another one of those haunting songs that just doesn't get out of my system :-)
It strikes back every now and then........

Tum pukar lo, tumhara intezaar hai, tum pukar lo
Khwaab chun rahi hai raat beqarar hai
Tumhara intezaar hai, tum pukar lo

(Honth pe liye hue dil ki baat ham 
Jaagte rahenge aur kitni raat ham) -2
Muqtasar si baat hai tum se pyaar hai
Tumhara intezaar hai, tum pukar lo

(Dil bahal to jaayega is khayal se
Haal mil gaya tumhara apne haal se) -2
Raat ye qaraar ki beqarar hai 
Tumhara intezaar hai

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Tamso' ma jyotir gamaya

A faint knock on the door again
reminiscent of old demons
old dilemmas that die hard
enticing me to the unknown, once again
uncharted terrain
with entrapment for life
trying to re-define, re-invent
what all take for granted
why does it beckon me
to trace my own course
through the ruins of time
the hurt felt over loss
the turmoil of unknown future
the anguish over past
and yet I keep hearing the knock
as if it is my destiny
to set course for a voyage
to where, I know not
to what end, I contemplate not
perhaps to get lost in eternity
perhaps to reach the promised land
perhaps to define my existence
perhaps to throw it all off

I open the door in darkness
and walk out to face my fears
may I be lead to light
tamso' ma jyotir gamaya
tamso' ma jyotir gamaya

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

asto ma sat gamaya

Kashtiyon se sagar cheera hai
bich majhdhar doob nahin sakte hum
apne pe bharosa rakho
aur kuch chintan karo
sab kuch abhi bhi tumhara hai
tumhara rahega agar chaho ge tum
bas apni nishtha banaye rakho
is registan se nikal jaoge tum
tumhara bhavishya ujala hai
ek baar yeh maan kar to dekho
aaj kranti ki pukar par
woh sab jo jhoote hain
unki lalkaar par
tum apne iraade bayan karo
kaho ki tum mit jao ge
lekin biko ge nahin
kaho ki swabhimaan zinda hai abhi
kaho ki saanso main josh hai
kaho ki dil main irada buland
aur nikal pado is dagar par
jo lejaayegi tumhein veero ke beech
sidhaant ko apna gehna samajh lena
aur satya ko apna mastak abhishek
asto ma sat gamaya
asto ma sat gamaya

Sleep

Sleep has an interesting quality of creeping up to me when I least expect it, I didn't have a proper lunch, 9well what is a proper lunch anyway) and just had a coffee and some cookies and now I am awfully sleepy, so sleepy that I don't know what I am typing, I am just typing what ever comes to my mind till I feel better so if you get incensed, please forgive me, or at least try to forgive me. Forgiveness is not easy to seek, nor is it easy to bestow, when I talk about forgiveness what comes to my mind is the movie "Schindler's list" and the way "I forgive you" is said in that movie. Talking about movies....... no I don't want to talk about movies....
so what do I want to talk about?
well I don't have a clue, probably sleep !
why do we have to sleep, won't it be interesting if we don't spend half of your lives in slumber land, well for me it is more than half my life, for I like to sleep for 12-14 hours, whenever I can do it, college I had the record of sorts of sleeping for 48 hours continuously. So in a way sleep happens to be my passion.
What do I like the most of the sleep?
well the dreams, and absolute peace and bliss, it is a perfect way of escaping from whatever haunts one, whatever it might be. They say people who are depressed sleep more. I am not too sure about this, but as far back as I can remember I have always employed sleep as my escape mechanism.
I guess it would be better to take a short nap, with my head on my desk, then to keep typing and making no sense

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Yeh kya jagah hai doston

Some songs don't stop haunting me. One such song, sung by Asha and rendered on screen by Rekha (If I am not mistaken, If I am please forgive me:-) ) does that to me.

ye kyaa jagah hain dosato, ye kaun saa dayaar hain
had-ye-nigaah tak jahaa, gubaar hee gubaar hai

ye kis makaam par hayaat muz ko leke aa gaee 
naa bas khushee pe hain jahaa, naa gam pe ikhtaiyaar hai

tamaam umar kaa hisaab maangatee hain jindagee
ye meraa dil kahe to kyaa, ye khud se sharmasaar hai

bulaa rahaa hain kaun muz ko, chilamanon ke us taraf 
mere liye bhee kyaa koee, udaas bekaraar hai

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

who cares

Years will pass before someone will see
years will pass and the rot would set in
the carcass of humanity that we love to carry
alongside us, to wherever we go
we drag it along
will we grow up?
will we face the truth
will we acknowledge the decadence
and do something about the filth around.
maybe we will
may be we will not
who cares
for we would be long gone

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Silent Prayer

what does tomorrow hold
what would the choices lead to
would there be happiness
or would we languish in misery
times will never be same again
people will never be same again
one last look
at the things getting left behind
eyes closed in silent prayer
may this work out
may this work out better than what we expect

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Dare to dream

Was off to Goa for the weekend, am back to office and was checking my mails, when I see this.................
Bravo man keep these snippets coming, it just made my day

Only as high as I reach can I grow,
Only as far as I seek can I go,
Only as deep as I look can I see,
Only as much as I dream can I be.

Karen Ravn

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Annie Hall

Watched Annie Hall, I am not going to write about the movie. you better go and see it, wherever you can get hold of CD DVD, whatever see it :-)
I am just going to quote some of the lines from the movie

There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly. The... the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.  - Woody Allen

A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark. - Woody Allen



--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Don't let the hero perish

A friend of mine has taken up on him to send me some inspiring note each day. and some of them happen to be so good, that I cannot help but post them.

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.

The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours. "

Ayn Rand
Russian-born American Author
--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Fear

a heavy heart, shallow breathing
sweat on the brow and palms
shaky hands, restless mind
twitching eyes, twitching arms
something is going to happen
something not pleasant
what am I waiting for
what is wrong
no answers forthcoming
fear of the unknown

desire to fade away
desire for oblivion
run as fast as you can
before the feet turn to lead


--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Strange Dreams

Rose petals, dried leaves and wet earth
wet bark of the trees, a dripping lamp post
a man huddled in a trench coat
sitting on a bench, a cold bench
his boots soggy, his eyes damp
clutched in his hands
a bunch of fresh flowers
lips mumbling something
a faint tremor in his voice

at a distance they mourn
all dressed in black
and he watches
the death of his dreams
strange are dreams

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

A wild thing

A friend of mine sent me this :-)
and I just loved it......................

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough
Without ever having felt sorry for itself.

-- D.H. Lawrence

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Blank noise project

I was reading A Public Diary and hit upon Blank Noise Project. This really made me started thinking. Street Abuse, otherwise called eve-teasing.
Abuse is rampant, much more in the northern part of the country than in south, or so it seems at least, but yes I have been unable to come around a single friend of mine who has escaped it, be it public transport, be it by lanes, be it relatives, be it strangers.
Why this abuse though? what makes the guys do it ?? Is it their insecurity, do they feel threatened by female sexuality, and hence the need to control, force, enslave ?
Or is it the barometer of our cultural maturity.
I guess it is all, but what makes it all the more sick is the trauma that the victim goes through. those endless nights, where she questions herself, believes that she instigated it, holds herself responsible for it having happened to her, shuts herself off, or goes ahead to tame a break all the guys she can come across. In short the abuse leaves a permanent mark on one's psyche.
I guess the only way to attack this problem is to attack the roots, attack the decadence that has crept into our society, where we no longer value the originality of thought that we exhibited some centuries ago. The moral policing is not going to solve the issue, only thing that can solve this issue is demolish all the taboo's in the society.

Such was the magic all around
such was the bounty abound
such was the diversity and tolerance
such was the land where I belonged

there was a place for everyone
every thought had a pedestal
all were invited to be part of the the glory
and the live the glory to the max
and the land nurtured them all.........

some thoughts

No one can control you, if you don't want to be controlled
no one can cheat you, if you don't want to be cheated
no one can play god, if people don't need a god

self pity is the most depraving thing one can indulge in, followed by self blame and self loathing.

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

A conversation

Tears, what do they mean.
Nothing, tears are a sign of helplessness. when one gets overwhelmed by something they don't want to do anything about, they cry, or by something we cannot do anything about, like death, heartbreak, loosing something one never wanted to loose, being someone one never wanted to be.

What is helplessness
it is just a feeling, we say we are helpless because we want to be helpless. We feel helpless when faced with options which we think are not fair to us, we feel helpless when life doesn't turn out the way we expected it to.

What is life
Life is a bundle of options, choices that you make every moment, millions of choices that you made all through your life, that is what decides what you are today. There are two ways to live life, live it as it comes, plan it. If we live life as it comes, the factor of chance increases manifold, we will choose the first available option or the most pleasurable option, but the foresight is not there. If we plan, we loose a whole lot of moments that would have been worth living.
--
~asto' ma sat gamaya