Watch it all burn

Sudden onset of melancholy
world is a depressing place right now

Famine, hunger and war

People dead and uprooted

a girl searching for her brothers killer

politicians making statements

Jackdaws are democratic

and humans morons

I wish to be in a better world

Place of peace, quiet and happy coexistence

People free of enforced rules and values

Some hurts are way to deep
Justified or not, thrive they do
Feeding fearful frenzy
Of being lonesome
Fretful needy soul
Craving to belong
To be given precedence over all
Acceptance of relegation does dawn
Misery gnaws at heart though
And mind seeks deliverance
From all that binds and all that holds
From the curse of breath
And nightmare of thoughts

Good bye, Blue Sky!!

Another phase another life
Time to lift up my wares
Move to the next fair
Like a true vagabond
Gained nothing, lost some
Chanced upon sacred earth
Though someone else’s
Committed sacrilege
Though never believed
Expected the world
Fell on my face
Another day another place
Another face another phase




Allure of solitude lies in it being perennial.

Broken

Broken into a hundred little pieces

broken hope

broken lies

broken highs

Allure of Solitude

I seem to be doing something wrong
cannot get the hang of it
perhaps too desperate for good things
perhaps a bit naive as always
I have begin to expect I guess
the evil that expectations are
was untouched by them for some time
not prepared for the invasion
"protect yourself", screams out each pore
and yet I don't heed to warning
and plunge deep into treacherous currents
I deserve it, me thinks
for forgetting my own saying

"Allure of Solitude lies in it being perennial"

In search of belief

Sore with discontent
Oblivion beckons
Fade out or live long
Perhaps not an option
Choices are illusions
Life a big lie
Return to innocense
Most desired
Loath and anguish
No logic to talk about
Haze of negativity
Call it depression
Yet it is life still
No pride no prejudice
Just an unflinching death wish
Nothing to hang on to
Or so it seems
Can this all end please
Cannot watch the re-runs again
Cannot see the downward spiral
Cannot live without belief
Cannot make room for belief as well.

The Road

I have been reading "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy. Simply put one of the most disturbing books I have read in a long time. I am a cynic, my flavor of cynicism is "Cynical optimism", but this book stomps out any faint ray of hope I might have with regards to Humanity.

We humans are so frail and our social morality to fickle, that a single catastrophe can make all the accomplishments of human race fall like a house of cards.

There is no collective vision. We lack ideals, we are too busy surviving. When people talk about environmental issues I get pissed off, Environment is not a concern at all. Nature was there and will always be there, it will re-surface, re-mutate, re-evolve. We humans are doomed. There is no question about the impending doom. and no environment is not going to make us fall.

Let one catastrophe befall us, like a comet strike, or a foolish zealot launching a nuke, and you will see us break the thin fabric of humanity and become animals. We will rape/kill/eat each other.

No there is no hope.

Even without the catastrophe we are so close to being animals. how many liberals do you know? how many people in your circle support gay rights? how many people in your circle see religion as a propaganda? how many of you believe that humans are essentially good? How many can rise above individual concerns? Do we even believe in heroes? Is there a universal truth we all adhere to?

Freud says that eminent sense of danger makes people hypocrites. You know what, we are all hypocrites. We lie and we cheat and we loath ourselves. Or we live in oblivions.

Nothing can help us, Nothing...

whore me a slut

find me a life

sell me some dreams

call me on my phone

leave a message atleast

push me to a corner

hit me with a club

hit me with a jab

sell me some highs

dope away the lows

sold my body

sell my soul

kill me everyday some more

kick me in the groin

laugh at my puckered face

sell the snapshot of agony

don't leave anything unsold

cash me in, cash me out

sell them the deepest desires

sell the sacred earth a dime

make all you can till I die

cut my veins and let me bleed

cut me to pieces and sell the pork

dry my hide and sell some more

whore me a slut

whore me now

whore me love, whore me passion

whore me instant gratification

whore me death and the world beyond

we are all whores, pimp me now.

Needs

I need to get out, I really need to get out of this god forsaken place. I need to go run on a beach, I need to go climb a mountain, I need to drive on a scenic road, I need to get lost. And all this seems like a fantasy as of now. I don’t want love, I don’t want people around me. But am I being truthful. I am love sick, and I crave for company. But I want to get to a point where I don’t need love nor people around me. I need to find happiness in myself. I need to love myself. I need to forget the nightmares of my life and remember the beautiful dreams and imagine myself in those dreams.

I need to eat good food, I need to have my breakfast daily, I need to eat healthy, but what do I do when each morning getting out of bed itself is the biggest fight of the day.

I am stressed out and nothing I do seems to help. Yet I carry on and keep piling on more stress.

People who see me don’t see the frayed nerves. People who meet me don’t meet the scared me. People who love me don’t touch my soul. People who despise me don’t know that I loathe myself. People whom I make laugh don’t see the tears I weep, people who see the passion in me don’t see the cynic smirk. I am a ball of contentions, always bubbling with contradictions and acceptance is all I sought. Acceptance is not mine though. I need to accept myself first, I need to sleep with myself first.

I need to sleep a long deep sleep, I need to pass on I guess.

Guess who's back

Udane ko toon azaad hai

bandhan koi ab hai kahan

toon dhoop hai cham se bikhar

toon hai nadi aie bekhabar

ud chal kahin, beh chal kahin

dil khush jahan 

teri to manzil hai wahin

Lyrics of one of my favourite song, and it captures my mood so aptly. It has been long that I have not really written on this blog. But now I am back and I promise myself to write. 

Each society that calls itself civilized has an official period of mourning, the purpose of this time is to act as a disconnect between two disjoint worlds. People mourn out of respect, out of guilt, out of love. But for all it serves the same purpose, to pay the price for being free by punishing oneself. Yes I mean it, human mind is really crazy, crazy enough to do this :-)

Anyway I was in no mourning, I have learned to move on very quickly. I lived through this hiatus, just so nothing is read between the lines for what I say.

Nothing I write reflects on anything of consequence anymore :-)

This blog truly returns to its roots. After all it is a blog about Nothing...

Good bye

Terse is not the name
for the note I got
distant, frail, tired is more like it
weeding out the past
to make a new beginning perhaps
a good bye I deserve though
or so I seem to believe

A Blog about Nothing

I sit down to blog, to write something, the want to have something to day, something to share with the unknown readers, (who more often than not, never turn up) is overwhelming. I search my mind, all its depth, for something to write about, and I measure up the shallowness, because nothing comes up, nothing, Zilch.
I wonder if it is writer's block, then I ponder, am I a writer at all. Yes it is true that I have written a lot of poetry, some of it is beautiful, some of it is bearable, but all of it is very personal. I guess with poetry it has to be personal, and only someone going through the pain will ever understand the depth of thoughts the moment pen goes wild and words get a life of their own and poetry flows as if it was blood in my veins. None of the poems posted here were laboured over. all of them were written in a flow. So I guess I have a way with the words.
Should I write about the current issues? I don't feel up to it. the circus all around me is too self absorbed to serve any purpose writing about it.
So I can write about my passion, photography and music and movies and ideas I get for my movies. Nope. I like playing with them in my mind, the written medium kills the exuberance they have in my mind.
so what do I write about?
Nothing.....
that is what I have done in this post. I have written about Nothing.
And yes this was the original title of the blog.....
A Blog about Nothing.