conversation

i dunno am sort of depressed today

need for a simulating conversation is what I feel

or perhaps a quiet company

transitions are always tricky

they have their way of eating into you

nothing is decided, dunno where one is headed

but then the irony is that life it self is transitional in nature

sometimes I think I obsess too much about life

about birth, death and the goriness of existence in between

why don't other people do it

I see people blissfully unaware of all this

living life, planning for eons, for generations to come

people caught up is stupid trivialities of small issues

like what did the neighbor say, how did the relatives behave

trying to read between lines for each and everything

trying very hard to find meaning in a meaningless world

and they don't even know that they exist

they take that for granted

there is no effort to experience life

and then there are some, who are absolutely driven to succeed

what do they gain

I fail to understand this breed

running after money, though money is awesome to have

but still running madly in a race to make money

studying hard for exams

aiming for jobs

the more I try not to be part of this rat race

the more I get sucked in

I am learning to accept it, and not get upset over the fact that I seem to be losing out on some cheese, as I refuse to run like a hamster in a cage

sometimes I get upset and as soon as I realize what I am getting upset over I forgive myself :-) and move on

what a shit hole

how can anyone be happy

I wish I was like them, sometimes

but most of the times I wish they were all like me :-D