I am mean, cause I want to be mean

Is it ok to be mean ?
adj. mean·er, mean·est

1. 1. Selfish in a petty way; unkind.
   2. Cruel, spiteful, or malicious.
2. Ignoble; base: a mean motive.
3. Miserly; stingy.
4. 1. Low in quality or grade; inferior.
   2. Low in value or amount; paltry: paid no mean amount for the new shoes.
5. Common or poor in appearance; shabby: "The rowhouses had been darkened by the rain and looked meaner and grimmer than ever" (Anne Tyler).
6. Low in social status; of humble origins.
7. Humiliated or ashamed.
8. In poor physical condition; sick or debilitated.
9. Extremely unpleasant or disagreeable: The meanest storm in years.
10. Informal. Ill-tempered.
11. Slang.
    1. Hard to cope with; difficult or troublesome: He throws a mean fast ball.
    2. Excellent; skillful: She plays a mean game of bridge.

I say yes it is OK to be mean. it is ok to think for yourself just, it is ok to be taken over by dark side. I have been told that good and evil are always at loggerheads. I have been told that eventually the good wins. there are so many stories to site the same, but I don't see that happen in this world. Anyway that is not an excuse for being mean,
I want to be mean, because I want to be mean, because there is no other way of existence that will soothe my nerves, there is no other way of existence which will make me feel wanted, there is no other way of existence that will make it worthwhile.
I don't want to be a saint, because I don't want my intentions to be questioned. Hordes of folks question Gandhi, but all of them are certain about Hitler. They all know Hitler was evil, but are hell bent at proving "Mahatma" evil.
If I proclaim I am evil, I am devil's advocate, all those who come near me are at their own risk. They are on their guard, they won't let me manipulate them, they won't let me hurt them, that is if they have brains enough. And if I am an evil greater than their senses can handle, I will still rule, but won't have any guilt about it.
Guilt is what makes life miserable, guilt is what ruins the fun out of stealing, being what you want to be. All of us were born to be free, but we enslave ourselves into the society and the norms of morality due to guilt. Right from the time one first feels that something bad will befall him/her because of the "bad" he/she has done, to the last dying moment, when they are hoping for heaven, guilt rules them and kills them.
If we learn to kill this guilt we would have learned how to live free.
I love people around me, but I love myself the most, now If I feel guilty about it, as I did or maybe still do to some extent, I will make my life miserable, each and every liberty that I take for myself, will result in a greater leverage I will be giving to guilt. and I will try and submit to people around me because of this, each and every time taking away the very freedom I craved for.
They say freedom is not for free, agreed, fully agreed, it is at expense of guilt. And If I kill the guilt, in some eyes I will become an Animal, but I will like to define it as freedom.
To relinquish the guilt it is not necessary to unburden your self and offer penance, to relinquish guilt you just have to set the perspective right and think what was important for you. and each day wake up and decide what is important for you. Each day do what is important for you. Live for today, the present, don't even worry about future, forget about past completely.



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Thought is your Enemy