dilemma

I have been feeling exceptionally low today. This happens when all of
a sudden the realization of your worthlessnes daws on you every once
in a while. Only difference is that this time it is really strong.
I have been working in an industry for more that 3 years now and I
don't really suck at my job, in fact I am doing above average or maybe
even good, but the thing that always comes back to haunt me is the
fact that probably I want something else.
And the worst part is that I am not working towards it and feel bad
when something goes wrong in my work place :-)
This is a strange obsession to prove something that I don't really
want to prove, but am forcing myself to prove it anyway. It is like a
big curse.

And now I again feel like running away from everything and everyone......