What am i waiting for

A strange desperation sets in again
nothing seems right
nothing seems worthwhile
there is something amiss
the will to live is gone
whatever I stand for seems despicable
I lack belief and I lack courage
I look for a way out
and see just the fatalist one
my limbs lack energy
my voice is distant
my eyes look tired and distraught
and my body turns to lead
i want to run
run as fast I can
to where? the answer alludes me
but the feet are not ready to carry me
they remain grounded, turned into stone
what am i seeking
what do I desire
what makes me want to rebel
how do I set things right
is there anything right
am I but wrong
how do i define wrong
how do I define life
definitions are not forthcoming
and I keep looking for divine intervention
what am I waiting for
what am I waiting for
what am I waiting for