nest

Love's labor lost
A deranged nest
Twigs scattered all around
The nestlings have flown off
Some died in mid flight
Some survived the ordeal
the mother looks
at the nest in shambles
with a lonesome gaze
once there were fledglings there
her own flesh and blood
now there is just a decaying smell
that nauseating smell of loneliness

--
Carry on oh hopeless mortal
try to live with hope of love
connive yourself into belief
collude yourself into yielding

Zindagi

jis jagah ka koi naam-o-nishaan na ho
jis waqt ka koi hisaab na ho
jis lahu ka rang paani se halka ho
jis dil ka zakhm nasoor ho
jis pyar ka naam maut ho
us jagah par mera gharonda ho
us waqt ke kuch lamhe main jee loon
us lahu ko baha ke qurbaan ho jaoon
us zakhm ko main sanjo ke rakhoon
us pyar main main doob jaaon

zindagi bula raahi hai
apni hari baahein failaaye
mujhe uske aagosh main
gum ho jaana hai
uski saanso main
kho jaana hai
uski abhilashaaon ki
anubhooti karni hai
mujhe abhi jeena hai
bina mare.
jab tak main zinda hoon

--
Carry on oh hopeless mortal
try to live with hope of love
connive yourself into belief
collude yourself into yielding

I am not weak

Am I weak, no I don't think so, seriously I am not, Am I emotional, yes I am but then I can see through them too. Have been having a tough time lately, but when I look around I still feel that I am the strongest of the lot. And would always be, I should probably stop looking for stronger people, there might not be any. Each one of us has vulnerabilities, and I for one can see mine quite clearly. And have consciously decided to yield to all the temptations. If that is the case then I should be ready for loneliness, and that will happen pretty soon. Now that I think of it, I feel it would be a huge relief, for once I won't have to live up to anything, I will be free like an island. And that would be so cool. Really man I am not weak at all, just have to cross one more threshold and then I will stop feeling. I will be Ok with exploitation, with abuse, with lust, with love, with hatred, with murder, with possessiveness.
I won't have company of people who expect
I will not expect myself
I could treat people like dirt
Or I could choose otherwise
I could cherish a few relations I choose
Or I could decide to be all alone
I could go see the world
I could become highest of mountain
The deepest of sea
The rarest of air
And the whitest of cloud
And can be the serpent
Venomous and dangerous
Or the holy cow
Soft, gentle and giving
I could be the Satan
And utter satanic verses
I could be God
And create a new world
I am not weak, I proclaim
I am an animal, a predator,
On the prowl
And rest I will not
Till I taste the blood
Of all that haunts me now

Things don't seem right

I am feeling totally disconnected from whatever held me for so long, It seems that the invisible hand that was guiding me has vanished. I have the premonition of a death, and I have a wild resilience towards my own fate. And I find myself getting more and more lonely. I want seclusion right now, complete, perfect seclusion.

--
The allure of Solitude lies in it being perennial

Satanic Verses

Caught in devil's vice
I ask you for deliverance
the one who is evil
one whose vileness knows no bounds
the one that is the king of beasts
I give thee my soul
and ask for eternal bliss
cause I know what hell is
and am not afraid to languish there
take my quintessence
and make me a ghost
ghost of living me
and take away the fear
that I feel

--
The allure of Solitude lies in it being perennial

Death

A strange calm on his face
A faint recollection of past
No urge to change anything
No feeling to fight it all
No emotions whatsoever
Just an eternal calm
Knowing that nothing matters
Knowing what went wrong
Knowing that he was mean
As any other human being
Knowing that everything ceases here
But only a moment before
He couldn't really accept it
And like all mortals
Tried to evade the inescapable
Tried not to believe
That everything will come to an abrupt halt
That all his memories will cease
And he will go into a deep sleep
But this is the eternal truth
And this is what will eventually
Happen to me



--
The allure of Solitude lies in it being perennial

Wail of Humanity

Wrote these a long long time ago, was going through some papers when I chanced apon these, so thought of posting them too :-)

Life was never so full
Full of enthusiasm
And sadness at the same time
Enthusiasm for what is un-conquered
The virgin territory waiting for me
All the heights I have to rise to
And saddened I am
When I see
All the blunders committed by me
All the bloodshed, all the tears
All the hypocrisy
To name some few
And I feel no right to call
Myself Humanity
'cause my past has been
anything but humane
and standing where I am today
I strongly fee and urge to end it all
But my impulses betray me
And urge me to carry on
'cause I am supposed to be optimist
'cause tomorrow might be the day
I have been looking for
For thousands of battered years.