What have you come to be

Have you had that feeling

when you wish you were gone

far away on the fluffy cloud

Have you had the want

to meet acceptance

draped in undress

have you had the need

to make love with destiny

on the golden chariots of fate

to run, to laugh, to riot

usher in the rush of the first joint

to rest, to sleep, to weep

tears surging on the first heartbreak

to leap, to dance, to live

far from what you have come to be

another sunset awaits you

what you seek, doesn’t exist

why then the quest

go back and lie down now

stop searching the horizon

like a man possessed

why let the ghosts haunt

they are but ghosts

why feel sad and hurt

it was written all over from start

another day another place

another sunset awaits you

keep your wits together till then

walk on and play on till then

whore me a slut

find me a life

sell me some dreams

call me on my phone

leave a message atleast

push me to a corner

hit me with a club

hit me with a jab

sell me some highs

dope away the lows

sold my body

sell my soul

kill me everyday some more

kick me in the groin

laugh at my puckered face

sell the snapshot of agony

don't leave anything unsold

cash me in, cash me out

sell them the deepest desires

sell the sacred earth a dime

make all you can till I die

cut my veins and let me bleed

cut me to pieces and sell the pork

dry my hide and sell some more

whore me a slut

whore me now

whore me love, whore me passion

whore me instant gratification

whore me death and the world beyond

we are all whores, pimp me now.

Needs

I need to get out, I really need to get out of this god forsaken place. I need to go run on a beach, I need to go climb a mountain, I need to drive on a scenic road, I need to get lost. And all this seems like a fantasy as of now. I don’t want love, I don’t want people around me. But am I being truthful. I am love sick, and I crave for company. But I want to get to a point where I don’t need love nor people around me. I need to find happiness in myself. I need to love myself. I need to forget the nightmares of my life and remember the beautiful dreams and imagine myself in those dreams.

I need to eat good food, I need to have my breakfast daily, I need to eat healthy, but what do I do when each morning getting out of bed itself is the biggest fight of the day.

I am stressed out and nothing I do seems to help. Yet I carry on and keep piling on more stress.

People who see me don’t see the frayed nerves. People who meet me don’t meet the scared me. People who love me don’t touch my soul. People who despise me don’t know that I loathe myself. People whom I make laugh don’t see the tears I weep, people who see the passion in me don’t see the cynic smirk. I am a ball of contentions, always bubbling with contradictions and acceptance is all I sought. Acceptance is not mine though. I need to accept myself first, I need to sleep with myself first.

I need to sleep a long deep sleep, I need to pass on I guess.

Guess who's back

Udane ko toon azaad hai

bandhan koi ab hai kahan

toon dhoop hai cham se bikhar

toon hai nadi aie bekhabar

ud chal kahin, beh chal kahin

dil khush jahan 

teri to manzil hai wahin

Lyrics of one of my favourite song, and it captures my mood so aptly. It has been long that I have not really written on this blog. But now I am back and I promise myself to write. 

Each society that calls itself civilized has an official period of mourning, the purpose of this time is to act as a disconnect between two disjoint worlds. People mourn out of respect, out of guilt, out of love. But for all it serves the same purpose, to pay the price for being free by punishing oneself. Yes I mean it, human mind is really crazy, crazy enough to do this :-)

Anyway I was in no mourning, I have learned to move on very quickly. I lived through this hiatus, just so nothing is read between the lines for what I say.

Nothing I write reflects on anything of consequence anymore :-)

This blog truly returns to its roots. After all it is a blog about Nothing...