Despondent

Have you ever felt lost
lost beyond hope
beyond comprehension
beyond care
when you don't want to be found
when hope becomes blasphemy
and something tells you
"this is how it will be, always"

Have you ever been in company
yet lonely
lonely as the oasis in desert
brimming with life
yet so out of place in desert
lonely like an island
lonely like a sheer cliff
you talk, you laugh
but all is an aberration
your mind wanders
setting its own course
through the myriad of memories
not contemplating though
just reliving the agony
again and again

have you ever been with nature
yet incomplete
when nothing seems to fill the void
nothing carries the allure anymore
with mind in state of exasperation
unknown anger brewing inside you
and the wish to smoulder
everything in line of sight
and the erudition
that there is no deliverance
no escaping the wrath
an acquiescence of doom

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya