Yearning

Soar up in the sky

leave the horizons behind

venture into the void beyond

it feels a lot like one inside of me

vast expanse of nothing

bogged down by inconsequential tidbits

but they tease me and make me yearn

make me want to want some more

beyond the first star

the second and the third

the count goes on

lost in near infinity

trying to find my way home

where is home

it used to be here but no more

it used to be there but no more

an acid trip to get back home

to get back to the love and the pain

move on now, says ground control

there is nothing to move on to

says the voice in my head

traces of a dream linger on

she had revealed the intimate secret

I saw her with vermilion

didn't register it was for me

saw two boys and a happy extended family

like heaven that would never be

and then it fades to oblivion

still fighting demons I fought

trying to be strong when I am not

brave when I am not

feet primed to run

I am rooted to the vision

a lonely oddball among stars

no unsolicited love

no solicited sorrow

just plain abstract agony

and emotions too strong

emptiness inside me that yearns

and yearns and yearns some more