Drishtant

What is life
Life is because it is, there is nothing more to it.

How should we live
As you please, live life on your terms, totally completely. At least that is what i think as of now. I mean what the hell, there is no meaning to life anyway, and there are times when one is bound to feel bad or good about certain things. All this happens in our brains. There is no truth, but the truth we concoct in our brains. We listen to what we want to listen to, we interpret everything as per our own convenience. We blame others for all the ills that are within us. We fake everything, all the time, just to survive in a world that we hate with all our guts. Why not live for oneself then. At least this way you will be happy. But it is not as easy as it seems, for this to work, you will have to work yourself out of all your conditioning. In other words, you will have to forget a whole lot that you have learnt till now.

What is conditioning.
all of us were brought up with certain values, that constitute our Moral system. it doesn't matter what the values were, what matters is that they stick. they stick like super glue to you for the whole of your life. Girls being taught to be coy, boys conditioned to be aggressive, what is right, what is wrong, what is good, what is bad, what is beauty, what is ugliness, what is love, what is family, what is marriage, what is life, how to lead one's life, how to understand expectations, how to understand responsibilities. All of us, have been trained like "good animals" all our life to follow these edicts. Who gave these edicts?? well these edicts evolved, they evolved over centuries of living in a commune, but that doesn't mean one set of edicts is better than other. they are just different. There is nothing right or wrong, what might be casual in one culture might be totally unacceptable in other.

Once you understand this, you have a choice, you can consciously choose what you want out of life, and what you don't.
And it won't matter what others think, or what others want you to do. you will be your own master.




--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Time once again wants me to be dead

cease to exist and vanish from here

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Some Songs

Some songs have their way of getting into one's Psyche.
am posting some such songs.


--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Stoned i sit, with everything turned to stone

guess i have a heart somewhere

and it beats too

but it is hidden under the icy chillness of me

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Why have i stopped writing?? Do I have nothing to say anymore? Or have I started to believe that expression of thought is after all not a noble exercise. I decided to watch the movies, watched Arth and Silsila after Kaabuliwala and DDLJ , I am trying to watch all the wrong combinations I guess. Silsila left me completely unmoved, though Rekha was striking. To me it seemed like a real life psychological experiment done on Amitabh, Jaya and Rekha. It is rumoured that Amitabh was involved with Rekha at the time, Jaya came back to do this movie after a request from Yash Chopra, she was no longer active as an actress. Now think about this, Yash Chopra plans to get the Indian family together and brings Jaya and Rekha face to face on the movie sets. What happened was expected. Amitabh and Rekha never worked again :-)Arth was a better movie. Well then it is by Mahesh Bhatt isn't it.What i lied about the movie, well lets say the characters are honest and believable. Shabana Azmi in her portrayal of the wronged woman is simply superb, Smita Patil and a disturbed Praveen Babi is simply unbelievable. Kulbhushan Kharbanda is also good, but the ladies steal away the show for sure. As for directorial technique, Arth is an honest film. Actors are honest, sets are honest, story is honest.
I watched DDLJ with a very different perspective this time. I watched it from Simran's perspective. I never could understand her character, but this time around I think i got the hang of her. 

Jugulate me
when my lips touch
the ambrosia of love

With time i will understand it too
Time is the wisest counselor

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Kabuli waala

Kabuli waala is too honest for this world. he is an Afghan national, who comes to India to make some money, leaving behind his 5-6 years old daughter with her grandaunt. He misses his daughter like crazy, so much so that he decides to go back. Then he meets mini. A small gift of laughter and happines that god had chosen to bestow to a couple in the city. What follows is a very strong chemistry between Balraj Sanhi and mini. Beautifully executed on screen by Hemen Gupta, the director.
A good lesson to the world, "if you are too honest, you will just know sorrow in your life"
As for myself, I cannot imagine Kabuliwaala in today's world. Till recently i would have believed that there could be someone like him. But now i think it is too rare a phenomenon to be experienced in real life.
Real life kabuli waala would be a child lifter, or a paedophile, or a dishonest man with one good streak of a positive relationship with a kid. But he would not be larger than life.
Bimal Roy's Kabuliwaala is larger than life.
But nevertheless a beautiful movie.




--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

chariots

Thoughts have a mind of their own
they bring to me a rainbow of emotions
each hue darker than the other
each hue engulfing me in its eternity
and i keep floating through them
if only it was all real
if only thoughts were chariots
i could ride
but try I will, Try I will to have them
on my beck and call.

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Task to be done

I am going to try and watch one movie a day and write up its review.
Dunno how long i would be able to carry on with this, but most of the times, I have to proclaim something to make myself do it.
Whatever i said, does it make any sense
who cares
whatever, whenever
Nevermind

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya

Space-dye Vest

Beautiful lyrics of a beautiful song, I was listeing to this when i got a call from someone i thought i once knew :-)
I think i am getting out of a spell.
I think i can fly again.................................................


--lyrics Begin ---------

Falling through pages of martens on angels
Feeling my heart pull west
I saw the future dressed as a stranger
Love in a space-dye vest

Love is an act of blood and Im bleeding
A pool in the shape of a heart
Beauty projection in the reflection
Always the worst way to start

But hes the sort who cant know
Anyone intimately, least of all a
Woman. he doesnt know what a woman
Is. he wants you for a possession,
Something to look at like a painting or an ivory box.
Something to own and to display. he doesnt want you to be real,
Or to think or to live. he doesnt love you, but I love you.
I want you to have your own thoughts and ideas and feelings, even when
I hold you in my arms. its our last chance... its our last chance...

Now that youre gone Im trying to take it
Learning to swallow the rage
Found a new girl I think we can make it
As long as she stays on the page

This is not how I want it to end
And Ill never be open again

...i was gonna move out...ummm...get,
Get a job, get my own place, ummm,
But... I go into the mall where i
Want to work and they tell me, im,
I was too young...

Some people, gave advice before,
About facing the facts, about
Facing reality. and this is, this
Without a doubt, is his biggest
Challenge ever. hes going to have to face it.
Youre gonna have to try, hes gonna to have to try and,
Uh, and, and, and get some help here. I mean no one can
Say they know how he feels.

That, so they say that, in ya know
Like, houston or something, youd
Say its a hundred and eighty degrees,
But its a dry heat
. in houston they say that?
Oh, maybe not. Im all mixed up.
Dry until they hit the swimming pool.

...i get up with the sun... listen.
You have your own room to sleep in,
I dont care what you do. I dont
Care when. that door gets locked,
That door gets locked at night by nine oclock.
If youre not in this house by nine oclock, then youd better find some
Place to sleep. because youre not going to be a bum in this house.
Supper is ready...

Theres no one to take my blame
If they wanted to
Theres nothing to keep me sane
And its all the same to you
Theres nowhere to set my aim
So Im everywhere
Never come near me again
Do you really think I need you

Ill never be open again, I could never be open again.
Ill never be open again, I could never be open again.

And Ill smile and Ill learn to pretend
And Ill never be open again
And Ill have no more dreams to defend
And Ill never be open again

--
~asto' ma sat gamaya